In some circles the words, personal development, when put together, can almost seem to be offensive.

I noted from a strand in a LinkedIn discussion that they are almost offered with embarrassment as a suggested way of moving forward.

Why is that so?

Is the suggestion that undertaking any form of personal development means that we are in some way deficient?  That perhaps we are not already perfectly developed and in no need of such development?

Or is it based in fear?

“What on earth would I find out (and have to solve)  if I really considered that the reason I have not yet achieved as I would wish to or got the job of my dreams , might it be down to some deficit on my part rather than a dire economy?”

But the truth is that we are all just ‘twits on the train’ – learning and developing as we go along.  No one, and I mean no one, is ever ‘done’.  There is not a person on earth that would not benefit from personal development in some form.

True when you are looking towards basic survival than your impelling needs lie elsewhere but for most of us in the western world our problems and struggles could be lessened by a little personal development along the way.

This often need be no more than a little introspection as to why we not only feel as we do but why we react as we do – anger is often based in fear – and a little understanding how we are perceived by others.  Not in terms of trying to please others – you cannot please all of the people all of the time and all that (and certainly should never ever try to) – but it is helpful to know how your attitude and demeanour is experienced by others as a way to achieve the results you want.

And the great thing is you do not even need to ask anyone the cringingly awkward – “So, what do you think of me?”

You can gage how you are doing by considering when things have gone well – you were offered a job, asked to head a team or your opinion particularly sought; what was it you offered that helped people see you in a positive light?

Equally, when things have gone poorly it may very well be down to sheer bad luck and a poor economy but sometimes it may be the result of misunderstanding.  Did your delivery intimidate or confuse?  Were you clear on your intention?  A key to this might be another person’s reaction to you – you are going along well and suddenly things went off?

Of course, it certainly can be the ‘other person’ but law of averages would suggest that it cannot always be about other people – sometimes we are the cause of our own misfortune.

If I can help – just get in touch.  I am always pleased to hear from you.

Networking is such a negative word in many circles.  Often considered to be the world of the slimy and creepy sort – working a room and seeing what they can get.

Of course that is an easy stereotype that allows us all to say ‘oh I would not want to be seen like that so I cannot see the point and will never network – I know so many people already and am really not interested in and have no time for more’.  Of course this is often followed by the comment that they would like to start a business or perhaps get a new job.

And yet I would say along with confidence, networking will be your biggest source of success. 

Networking to me is actually just about talking and connecting with people with no ulterior motive and just a desire to learn and expand my world.  All the best leads and developments in my business life have always come from the most unexpected connections – never a contrived association.  You honestly can never tell who and what will help you out.

In business, or in considering how to secure a new job, networking is one of the greatest ways to succeed.   It really is true that it is about who you know – I appreciate that may not be a welcome thought but it is an absolute truth for the majority of us.  But the great thing is you do not need to know, or be connected with,  the obviously influential and powerful; they are often too busy anyway.  But to be connected with people who are in the world you want to expand into is hugely powerful and helpful.

Often  highly connected people hear about jobs and opportunities that do not even reach the recruitment companies or adverts.  They hear about opportunities that may not be of use to them but will hand information on to, well, someone like you.

It is too easy for any of us to just mix with people who are in our current circles, I see this on some of the discussions boards of LinkedIn, people complaining about the unfairness of the world and lack of opportunities to shine.  But they are all talking to each other and not listening and connecting with new people and trying to gauge what it is they are missing – and they are missing something even if it is just about frame of mind and realising that we must all learn and develop if we are to succeed.

No one is ever ‘finished’, we are all in need of further development and being shown new ways to approach things.  Networking is a brilliant way to learn, we gain knowledge through conversations, we improve our conversational skills and more importantly we learn to gauge how the most successful people conduct themselves and then we are in a  position emulate successful traits.

Starting online is a great way to break into networking, then following up by getting out and about meeting people comes naturally.  Make sure you go to new groups or events that are not full of people in the same situation as you are; that just leads to negative outcomes. Yes there will be some grim events that you cannot wait to leave but they will  be balanced by the engaging events where you will make, enjoy and learn from new connections, and even better, new friends.

Perhaps on another post we can consider the ‘how to’  which is actually easier than you might think.

Here’s to your success

Angela

Whether you are feeling the pressure to move to a new job – things really becoming too uncomfortable to stay and you can feel your life ticking away – or because your current position is coming to an end – panic or denial often sets in.

Denial in facing the reality; that the job you are in is sucking the life out of you but you are perhaps fearful that wherever you go you might feel the same. And panic that you need to find a new position and have perhaps underestimated how long it can take.  Identify a job, apply, get called to an interview (and called back again perhaps) and then wait for the result.  And that is if you are successful at all stages.

Just listening to hearing how tricky it is out there can bring on anxiety; so what is called for is a cool head and some clear thinking.  This is s moment for cold practical process that you do all you can to remove emotion from.

The emotional part is invariably our downfall, so clear away all the ‘what if’s’ and the potential for negative outcomes and prepare solidly and expect that there will be knockbacks but that is all part of the learning and when that is in place bring back the emotional responses that make you who you are.

So for any job you want, whether you have identified it or not yet, you will need

• A strong CV  – two pages,  lots of white space, not a rehash of job descriptions and written in the first person using language easily understood (so not job referenced)
• A real presence on LinkedIn – this is absolutely where employers go to look (whether they say so or not).   A well presented and engaging profile has been known to win a job and they will Google you so a good profile will show up straightaway.
• Time spend understanding what you excel at and who you want to work for – and then research on the right sort of companies for you.

All too often I start to work with people after they have used a scatter gun approach feeling ‘this is so straightforward and I am an intelligent able person I must be able to do this myself’.

The scattergun approach rarely works because

• In being non specific you make yourself hard to place (they would like to help if they only knew what you wanted!).
• You are flattering no one by making it clear that yours is a general application (think in terms of dating here – if they will go out with everyone do you want them?)
• I absolutely know that confidence is eroded by continually be rejected, even by employers you do not like and for jobs you are over qualified or unsuitable for.  All we hear is the NO.  And of course that rejection is further complicated because we do not know why we got the rejection. Poor CV? Rubbish profile on LinkedIn? Over qualified? Under qualified?  And yes you can ask but there are too many people out there who are too anxious to give any meaningful feedback, for personal reasons or for fear of criticism of their process.

All too often in this state of anxiety we jump for what is offered rather than what would be the best fit for us.  I would urge you strongly to take some time – even if you feel time is against you – and think with clarity what company or role has the potential to be the best fit for you?

As ever you know where I am.

Angela x

Why you should be considering Brand You

I am a huge fan of the concept of you are your brand.  And that it is essential for anyone in business to be really clear on the message and the ‘brand’ they present; whether for they run their own business, are employed or looking for new employment

This notion was first coined most convincingly by Tom Peters; business guru and all round voice of good sense.  It leads us all to consider whether we are being clear on getting our message across and why that is so important.

Think of the person looking to secure a new job.  We hope that the first step is to consider what it is they want to do (note; we can help you here!)  they consider what company might fit well with their ethos and belief system and then they start to track down leads to find the perfect fit.  Now although this may need to happen with a few different organisations to get that right fit, it will be based on a strong reflection of you (Brand You) and will invariably offer a much more successful outcome.  When you make your application you will have already been very clear that this is a company that suits you and that will be clear to the potential employer that  you have the potential to be ‘one of us’.   Already you are ahead of the competition.

Equally when running your own business you need to clearly reflect what your core beliefs and intentions are – so I might say I believe in affording dignity to all, compassion and a non judgemental attitude coupled with a real interest in seeing others succeed and flourish.  I would hope that this message comes through loud and clear in every interaction I have around my business.  My intention is to be very transparent and consistent so that people know I can be trusted but equally having offered all that I have no problem in saying no to people who abuse that ethos.

So perhaps you set up a security company, what message do you want to send?  Perhaps it would be – I am clear that when people come to me they are considering a fairly scary outcome that they really want to avoid at all costs, they are already feeling vulnerable so  I want people to know I take their worries about security seriously, I understand that not everyone is in a position to afford the extensive  range I could offer them but whether they buy a new lock or a whole security system from me they will receive courtesy, conversation and clarity at all times.

So you can see that whatever you do has to have the stamp of ‘you’ on it.

If you are an employee than you are your brand travelling from employer to employer.  The very greatest success comes from that clear vision of yourself within the companies you work for.

Why is it important?

People buy people, straight and simple.  We are all pretty good at judging (even if it is unconsciously) whether someone is being genuine or just saying what they think you want to hear (think back to interviews when that has happened with you on the receiving end and I think you will agree).

So it is esstential that,  if you are to offer and receive the benefits of win win exchanges,  you need to be very clear about your priorities and equally demand clarity from those you deal with. Be that future employer, service provider or customer.

People like boundaries and so we all respond well to knowing where we are with someone.  Those people in our lives that run hot and cold are the most exhausting to be around aren’t they?  We never quite know whether to believe what they say.  However, gain consistency, even if the person is a bit of a tyrant, we at least know where we are and can react accordingly.  Much less exhausting.

Before all else, start to work out who ‘brand you’ is.  Things will be so much easier for you once you do.

And as ever, if you want any more, you know where I am.

Warmest

Angela

I was asked to contribute a small piece on resilience and thought in passing how essential resilience now is to anyone setting off on a new career path.  Although always in the back of my mind I am concerned that resilience can morph in to sheer bloody mindedness; not knowing when to stop doing the same thing in the hope of success and take a different approach.?
When do you know you are showing resilience in difficult circumstances and when do you know you are just hanging on hoping things will improve?  Knowing the difference is a fine line that can only be discerned by self awareness and trust in someone who knows where the pitfalls might be; someone who can see impartially.  We all suffer from the inability to see the wood for the trees from time to time.

In this particular climate it is clear that we are all having to show more resilience than perhaps our generation has ever had to experience previously and the ones that will do well and thrive (more successful businesses are born from recession than any other time) will be those who take the calculated risk and show some confidence and courage in embracing new ways of thinking and behaving.

Sadly the old days where one could whip off a fairly average CV and still manage to get into an interview have gone.  Equally being offered a position without due process seems less and less usual.  Knowing this can often send us into a bit of a panic.  What do I have to offer?  How can I tell people just how adaptive and capable I am?  This is certainly a moment for resilience, to know that this is all just perception.  You will have proved yourself on many different occasions and this is only a challenge of how to phrase things correctly, where to address your energy and in being realistic that there will be some disappointment. Real success often comes after disappointment.

Equally anyone who has ever set up a business must embrace resilience if they want more than a first flurry of success.  To build a strong future, strong foundations are essential.

For me, on setting off on the trail of self employment, I was keen to practice what I was trained to do little realising that running a business would be the greater challenge and that spinning many figurative plates would be the greatest challenge.  Certainly, I just did not know what I did not know, I was committed to hard work but where to address all this energy?

Success, even in these challenging times is more than possible, with the right support it is probable.

I am here to help and support, just reach out.

Warmest

Angela

We are currently running a poll on the PiPS (Police into Private Sector) group on LinkedIn asking members to consider what they think will be their greatest challenge going into 2012.

Many people are having to think about making the move to a new job if not a new career. With that in mind top of the poll so far is growing a business but in a strong second place is deciding what to do next. And I did wonder whether that might not be a strong topic for many facing an unexpected future – What Next?

Knowing that you have talents and abilities is different from knowing how to translate them into marketable skills. The language is different for each sector and we often underestimate how useful our skills are. Today’s market is no longer based on qualifications it is very much about the personality you can bring. Whether you will be a good fit for the team and bring a positive energy with you.

Equally I would suggest that instead of being drawn towards what might be more easily available you consider this as a welcome hiatus; an opportunity perhaps to consider what you really excel at (and you do excel even if you are not quite sure at what as yet) and what might be the best fit for what might prove to be a new career. If you step off and into an ‘almost acceptable’ fit it will be jolly hard to break away again.

So, consider not only what you like doing best but what also what you find the easiest – often you will be one of the few who does find whatever it is easy – this will be the start of playing to your strengths. So often we miss what we are excellent at just on the premise – “ if I find it a breeze then so must everyone”. Look for simple starts – a talent from problem solving, a knack with people, an ability to see patterns – the list is fairly endless.

Then add into the mix what work placed activity you are doing when time just slips by unnoticed. In some circles it is called being in the flow – everything clicks and you are lost in the thinking and engagement.

Use those simple tools and you will start to get a clearer picture of where you should be heading next – with confidence and never fear.

And if you get stuck – well you know where I am. Drop me a note.

Angela

Angela@TheWayConsulting.co.uk

I was reminded this week in uncomfortable circumstance how it is human nature to judge ourselves by our motives and others by their actions.

If we can try, with great difficulty sometimes, to wonder why we have received the reaction we have and to consider how our behaviour might have been read by others we can begin to understand what their motives are and perhaps judge a little more kindly.

But what can one do if we have acted in good conscious and been judged wanting?

It is all too easy to take the defensive but I think there is a need to take a deep breath, wonder about others motives, question oneself first of course; was I to blame? And then respond with strength.

A response in anger, a response in pain at having been misjudged might cost more than one ever wished for.

That said, with consideration taken, I think there must be then some bravery in standing up for what one believes.  There is no benefit to painful silence which results in a passive aggressive outcome for months to come. We cannot use the excuse of pretending to understand another’s motives to let us off the hook from facing the uncomfortable; standing up for one’s values and a determination to be treated with respect.

The need for a reiteration of boundaries or even creation of new boundaries can be uncomfortable but necessary to our own self esteem.

Even if you are judged as the one at fault, out of your earshot perhaps, what matters more in the longer term is the esteem you hold yourself in; others will and do come and go but you will always live with yourself.

The belief that we teach others how we will be treated is a painful reality.  There is always a need for a honest communication, without accusation, to understand points of view but a certain hardiness that you are willing to walk away from someone who treats you with less regard than deserved must be aimed for.  Nice maybe just that, nice.  It is also bland and forgetful; brave is standing up for what you believe and asking to be heard.

Be brave; accept that sometimes your motives will be misunderstood but better that then for no one to ever know what you stood for.

I am listening to a book at the moment, yes, listening, never wasting a moment to learn even on the go.  It is all about how to get our brains ‘work fit’ I am amazed (they could be talking about me) how we struggle with overload and how to work the day so that we can deliver the optimum just as we need to.  So far I am finding lots of small but very useful tips that make all the difference and I feel that it mirrors my own work; a lot of common sense but it is rarely common practise.

A million great ideas on how to improve your life, your work  and everything else are hard to capture and hold as we go through the day, distracted by all that is going on.

Apparently we do like change but only small change on a regular basis – the theory of advertising is small shocks and surprises – too many and we fold.  So facing a new career, life change or direction it is hard not to feel totally overwhelmed by all that needs to be considered and attended to. Would it be easier to just not bother?  even though we know we would be quickly bored, continue to be unhappy or worse.

We often know where we want to be but often do not quite know the steps to get there or  even get in our own way – being our own worst enemy and all that. Someone challenging us is helpful but that is often ourselves which can lead to us to become our own worst critic. Someone, to guide you through, who can answer the on-the-go questions and has been there before you is invaluable

So get a plan drawn up, a vision if you like of where you want to be in a year’s time and also in five year’s time, this is harder than its ounds because we naturally resist trying to look into the future. And then tell someone about it, a verbal delivery is powerful and the written word is useful and much more powerful than the millions of thoughts swooping through your mind without the benefit of being pinned down.

Angela x

Our newest collaboration, complimenting our other site is up and working. www.PoliceintoPrivateSector.co.uk and I can reflect on what can sound like a cliché has its roots in real truth; that often what takes us the greatest struggle is the thing we value highest.

It has also allowed me to reflect on how quickly we forget how far we have come;

  how much more we know on a week to week basis and how we sometimes forget to check that out and think we are the same person we were a year ago.

Our team first came together 7 months ago; a great idea that feels like it has taken a long gestation to get happily out into the world, now the baby is delivered, growing and developing on a daily basis. I have enjoyed the challenge of bringing all the learning of setting up a successful business and taking it to market that I have learnt over the last decade only now I can do it in a much tighter time frame and am reflecting on how far social media, technology and my brain’s ability to learn new tasks has come.

All very well, I hear you say what’s engaging about that? Well my greatest reflection is how we underestimate ourselves, our ability to learn past ‘a certain age’ and how far too many people play safe.

We all seem to think that ‘other people’ can do things more successfully than us. But why should we not be the one at the top of the tree? I can say quite clearly that you are more capable and intelligent than you know. And the main trick is knowing what you want, something too few people ask themselves, and then setting off to achieve your aim. And therein lies the pivotal question, do you know what you want? And if not what stops you enquiring, fear of disappointment? Fear of failure? There is never any success at all without failure, ask anyone who you consider is doing well in whatever field and they will always know the times they failed. And you? You have failed somewhere for sure, the world did not stop, you got up dusted yourself off and survived. The only damage is often to our egos, and don’t let that tricksy fellow hold you back; you are capable of amazing things if only you put your mind to it.

Ask yourself, what will I do now?

I was speaking at an event last week and at the end of the talk we had a question and answer session. One of the questions was about networking; I had spoken about the huge benefits on so many levels of networking. One of the questions was “where do I start on the internet? There is so much social media out there, I know I should be doing it but don’t know where to start”.

It sounds like a usual question perhaps but it was posed only about social media which had not really been featured; was the idea of networking online was at once an easy option and simultaneously anxiety provoking? In theory how lovely to just connect online and eliminate the possibility of rejection, one could convince oneself that the connection request on LinkedIn did not make it I suppose, that twitter is too busy to make an impact on or the facebook is just manic. But on a negative side social media is so massive now that it is overwhelming to know where to begin. Attractive but overwhelming – Oh I’ll just leave it then.

My advice was to choose one small section of social media to get started but spend the most time actually networking in person. I am not sure that was the answer wanted because risking your own ‘person’ in a room of strangers can be fairly frightening to many people. But if we don’t take a chance; do one thing every day that scares us and all that, we will never really grow. There is so much good advice about how to network out there; online of course, that we would be fools not to take it. But somehow we make excuses not to go over and talk to the person who looks interesting or to go along to an event that not only you know not a soul but that you know you will have to be brazen and confident to make any headway. That is of course, until you actually do it. You go along to something and have a fabulous time, you talk to interesting people and you make new friends and new contacts. What can I tell you but get on out there.

This stayed with me over the last few days and I thought about how often we put off taking the small steps that lead us to big success. Too many of us believe that we must do amazing dynamic and huge things to secure our success. And all too often that leads to, well, nothing at all. On the premise that if you cannot conquer it all then what is the point? In truth success comes in lots and lots of very small steps, taken over and over. Stories of overnight success look good in print but the reality is invariably a good deal of hard work and commitment first. So when it comes to networking you can start small, do a bit online and then make an effort to get out for some real interaction which will make more of a connection and will build real relationships that move onto something of depth and character. By all means meet first via e mail and all the glorious internet has to offer us but make sure that you find the time for a few lunches and an odd coffee as they will always have more value to you, both long term and short term.